A couple of weeks ago I was congratulating myself on having finally adapted to the "new normal" when a series of ghoulish and ghostly apparitions began to appear, having arrived far too early for Halloween.

When the term "new normal" came into the common parlance a year or so back, it offered a kind of reassurance that one day we would all have a grasp on what it meant. But it seems to me that we are faced with a wave of new normals that are coming thick and fast. 

For example, despite the troubles in the Middle East and Ukraine, the crude oil price hasn't gone through the roof, partly because the quality of oil refined outside Europe has improved to the extent that the term "sweet crude" is likely to disappear.

Then, suddenly, the "auld" enemy is no longer in the North, having chosen to remain part of Britain but threats to the UK economy are rearing their heads to the South - while the falling oil price is good news for Europe, it won't be enough to tackle the stagnation that is seeping through the eurozone economies if the European Central Bank and political leaders don't make the necessary structural reforms.

My anxieties on this score were then rudely interrupted by the managing director of John Lewis, Andy Street, announcing that France is "finished" having concluded that the country's capital is the "squalor pit of Europe". An unusual description of Paris, but it wasn't Mr Street's outburst that left me reeling, rather the fact that the French prime minister bothered to respond! Manuel Valls suggested that Mr Street had been at the beer.

Surely, Monsieur Valls would be well aware that managing director of John Lewis is such a vanilla role on the world stage that drunk or sober, his remarks were not worthy of a response from a PM?

Personally, I would confine comments regarding France to the country's budget deficit which it doesn't expect to reduce to below the EU threshold of 3% of GDP till 2017, two years later than promised.  Meanwhile a budget deficit of 4.3% of GDP will have to do.

The deficit is obviously quite a headache for France's left-wing because some of them would appear to have morphed into chameleons overnight and are prepared to revoke President Francois Hollande's 75% tax on those with incomes exceeding a million euros. That is, for those who have not already quit the country for a less demanding tax regime.

Other shocking pre-Halloween apparitions include Kevin Pietersen revealing all about the last Ashes Tour to Australia and Mirror Group newspapers which, of course, has never tapped a phone, suddenly making out of court settlements.

So here we are, with cars no longer displaying tax discs; the black flag of ISIL flying within spitting distance of the Turkish border; fingernails bitten down over the fate of certain hostages and the protesters in Hong Kong.

It seems to me that the only relief of recent week has been watching John Snow of Channel 4 news flirt with Tracey Emin as he examined her latest figure drawings and the news that yet another government minister has acted out of all rationality, this time by displaying his full potential in a pair of paisley pyjamas to a cross-dressing undercover journalist. Most reassuring.

So, come Halloween I will welcome the knock on the door from the Draculas, ghosts and cadavers of the night, and welcome the shivers down my spine. The new normals are much more chilling - I think at this point I know where reality sits!